Friday, March 7, 2008

The Obliteration of a Species

I work with a lot of people so I hear a lot of b.s. But sometimes, the stories I hear are so far-fetched and so out there that they leave me stunned and amazed. I mean, these people actually think that I believe the crap they tell me, and I often wonder what the hell they are thinking.

I was given some very important information yesterday from an obvious scholastic overachiever. She told me that the polar bears were becoming extinct because "all the grizzly bears are goin' up there and eatin' em all." This phrase has been permanently burned into my brain because I am just so baffled by it. Sometimes I think people just shouldn't talk.

I do have to give her credit....she got me thinking. Maybe there's some credibility to her statement after all. Needless to say, I have many questions concerning this matter. I mean, the polar bears couldn't possibly be nearing extinction because the polar ice caps are melting, could they?....nah, that's so silly! If grizzly bears are indeed going to the North Pole to eat polar bears, then 1.) what's their motivation, and 2.) how are they getting there?

Would a grizzly bear really swim across an ocean just to eat a polar bear? Or WOULD it swim? Maybe it would float on an know, like a raft or something, laying on its belly and using its huge paws as oars. But why would a grizzly bear want to travel all that way just to get a meal? Are fish becoming extinct too?!....who woulda' thought THAT would ever happen? But even if fish DID become extinct, surely there would have to be something more that would drive a grizzly bear to resort to such drastic measures as cannibalism. Or maybe, after thousands of years of eating the same 'ol thing day in and day out, the grizzly has just decided to have a taste of the finer things in life. And what's more fine to eat than a polar bear?

For the sake of the polar bears, we should all probably try to keep this under wraps. Seriously, if they find out about this, who knows what could happen?! If they see no future left for their kind they could possibly become homicidal, or worse, suicidal.

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